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孝親好歌

母親

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAeQl2ukEEU

龔玥：母親

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQiEHaUT8wg

降央卓瑪：父親

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHUFHNZnU6Y

楊曼莉：兒行千里

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gajr6-pS3U

婆婆也是媽

母親～

你入學的新書包

有人給你拿 你雨中的花折傘

有人給你打 你愛吃的那三鮮餡

她有人給你包

你委曲的淚花 有人給你擦

啊...這個人就是娘

啊...這個人就是媽

這個人給了我生命 給我一個家

啊...不管你走多遠 不論你在幹啥

到什麼時候也離不開咱的媽

你身在那他鄉中 有人在牽掛

你回到那家裡邊 有人沏熱茶

我們仔細想一想，我們從出生到長大，不管我們有任何的需求，母親，都是不斷地在滿足我們，呵護我們．甚至是，當我們有過分的要求的時候，我們的母親沒有辦法滿足我們，有些母親還會去賣血，來滿足孩子們的需求．我們每個人，都在這條母親河的滋養與呵護中，承載著生命的憂傷與喜悅，直到河流乾涸．

當我們還沒有出生時，母親就為我們出生後的一切做準備了．母親，甚至在吃東西時，都要考慮日後是否對我們的健康有好處．母親忍受劇痛，把我們帶到這個美麗的世界，當我們長了幾個月後，母親餵我們吃奶時，我們報答母親的，可能是咬他一口．甚至在母親抱著我們的時候，我們還會經常尿在他身上，而母親卻無怨無悔．

一歲之前，我們需要每兩三個小時，就要吃一次奶，並要更換尿布，為了我們能健康成長，在我們三歲前，母親都不能在夜裡，睡一個安穩覺．父母不知道花了多少時間，教我們學走路、學說話，教我們讀書、寫字，教我們做人的道理，教我們穿衣服、綁鞋帶、繫扣子，教我們吃飯、喝水，等等很多細小的事情，都是母親教我們學會的．

上小學時，吵著要電子琴，母親省吃儉用，花幾個月的工資買回的電子琴，我們乒乒乓乓，彈幾天，就扔下，再也不彈了．上中學時，如果成績考得好，還要父母親給物質上的獎勵．上大學時，我們是否拿著父母的血汗錢，來滿足自己的虛榮．在結婚的宴席上，我們忙於應酬同事、朋友，是否把父母冷落到一邊．

當父母為我們回家吃飯忙了很久，我們卻為了應酬，一個電話打回家，告訴父母，不回來吃飯了．父母不得已，下一餐還要吃剩飯剩菜．當父母不斷地重複那些老掉牙的故事時，請不要打斷他們，我們是否還記得小時候，要他們重複那個講過千百遍的故事，直到我們入睡．

當父母對新科技新事物不知所措時，我們千萬不要不耐煩，我們是否還記得，父母怎樣為我們解答，我們那提不完的為什麼．當父母想不起來或接不上話時，請不要轉身就走，其實談什麼並不重要，只要我們陪伴在他們的身邊，他們的心就會感到非常溫暖．當父母親老了，吃飯時，把菜湯灑到衣服上，我們也千萬不要不耐煩，我們是否還記得小時候，父母親怎樣手把手地耐心教我們吃飯．

I don't know how I feel about being solo yet. It's a journey, and it really has been a journey for all this time, one that has had many ups and downs. I've been meeting people in vegetarian shops randomly, talking to people online, making penpals. All in all, I don't really feel like this was what I wanted. It caused a lot of problems because these are not people that I knew initially, and because I kept our relationships purely online, as a result I didn't really know what kind of people they really are, and that has caused some issues.

Being solo definitely give you more time for rumination and time to chew the pen and think about what to put on your notepad. Time for coffee breaks and walks alone by the riverside. Solo trips to various cafes, but mostly to Starbucks. Time to lay in bed and read a book with some iced roselle tea. Time to again, lay sideways in bed and chat with my mom or sister about what happened in Buddhist class, without being interrupted by Line messages. Time for long mornings, uninterrupted piano sessions, reading sessions, but all in all, sometimes I still feel really lonely. 

I would hit up a college friend with whom I don't share much similarities with any more, only to have her ignore my message or just happen to not see it. I would Line my cousins but they always reply oh-so-reluctantly, even after the course of several months of not contacting each other. And on nights where I feel like a total failure from what happened during the day, I would talk to my mom as if she were my therapist, but she would only shrug amiably and leave my room to let me reflect. Above are the issues that I struggle with, and thinking back, it's not so unlike all those years ago where I type all these thoughts up in my notepad on Mac and feel like a loser years later when I read them after having completely forgotten about those files.

I think ultimately the problem lies in me not taking the present seriously. Me being too casual, not focusing much, and generally just being a slop sometimes. I do try hard, mind you, in everyday life. I keep a notebook where I make lists of things that I would like to accomplish, the few occasional lines of gratitude that I issue out to the world and beyond, and also just doodles here and there. 

I would like to be more focused, more apprehensive, more cautious, more mindful, yes, that would be the word. I want to be more awared and conscious of what I do in every moment of being alive. I want to write more, read more, paint more, ruminate and reflect more on how I am spending my time. I want to feel okay being solo. I want to not just be okay with being solo, I want to feel grateful for being solo. Not ask the world so much for what it can bring me in return, but instead give out so much love and light to all that is around me.

This is what I want to achieve right now.   

Now that I am set on being solo, there are some habit changes I need to make. Like I never really knew this about myself - because, well, I've always had some sort of people in my life with whom I can chat with, or you know, my mom's friends, or my own cousins and stuff like that. So what I'm trying to get at is - I never really put it into context, I never really saw myself as a solo person. I've always kind of known and joked about it, that being solo is good for being a practitioner, it's good for cultivating, but upon seriously acknowledging this, I actually do have to practice being solo. It's not something that I'm good at, with all this alone time, this abundance of space where I can be true, untainted self, it's a miracle and a privilege to live this way, and I definitely have to up my game and feel grateful about it.

- Bobo